What Does It Mean to Dream of Your Partner Cheating on You?

Dreaming of your partner cheating on you is a sure shot way to *ruin* your mood. You wake up feeling hurt, confused, and more than a little pissed off. You’re wondering what the dream means and whether your partner is actually cheating on you. You’re torn between snuggling up to them and kicking them out of bed.

Objectively, you know that it was just a dream. Subjectively, it's a whole different story. You wonder if your subconscious mind might know something that you don't...yet.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Research shows us that 20% to 30% of all dreams feature our partners in some way.

"Dreams about cheating are extremely common—they’re one of the top five dreams I’m asked about," says Lauri Loewenberg, a certified dream analyst and author of "Dream on It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life."

Does a Dream About Cheating Mean Your Partner Is Cheating on You?

Well, that depends.

"In my experience, 99% of the time, these dreams are a sign that the dreamer is struggling with their own self-worth," says Jesse Lyon, LMHC, MS, CCHT, QS, a hypnotherapist and dream interpreter. "These dreams come from a deep-seated sense of low self-esteem," explains Lyon. "Deep down, we have a fear that we’re not good enough for our partner and that they will choose to be with someone else instead."

Although the dream can feel terribly real and even painful, it could be caused by a range of things, including experiences, stress, medication, fatigue, and relationship dynamics, says Michael Roeske, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and senior director for the Newport Healthcare Center for Research and Innovation.

There have definitely been instances when the subconscious mind has picked up on subtle cues from a partner that something is not right in the relationship because the partner is cheating, says Lyon.

Or, if your partner has cheated on you in the past, the dream could be a sign that trust is still an issue and you have not healed, says Loewenberg.

Interpreting Dreams of Your Partner Cheating

We asked the dream experts to help us decode the different types of dreams, to try and figure out what they mean.

Below, we explore the possible interpretations of cheating dreams.

Dreaming of Your Partner Cheating on You With a Stranger

Dreaming of your partner cheating on you with a stranger could mean that you feel anxious that your partner is unsatisfied with you and will find someone else, says Lyon. 

He explains that it can also symbolize your own feelings of being neglected or undervalued, in favor of something else in your partner’s life. It could be something like your partner's work, hobbies, or travel, says Loewenberg.

Dreaming of Your Partner Cheating on You With Their Ex

Dreaming that your partner is cheating on you with their ex could be a huge sign that you're feeling threatened by your partner's ex, Lyon explains.

However, it’s important to pinpoint who is letting the ex influence your relationship, says Loewenberg. "Is your partner still in contact with the ex? Or are you the one constantly comparing yourself to the ex?" Accordingly, you will be able to determine whether the dream is caused by your insecurities or by your partner spending too much time with their ex.

Dreaming of Your Partner Cheating on You With Someone You Know

If you have no reason to suspect that your partner and this particular person are hooking up in real life, then the person may be a symbol for something your partner is interested in, says Loewenberg. Our dreams often reflect our waking lives in metaphorical ways.

Loewenberg says the way to figure it out is to ask yourself what three things come to mind when you think of that person. Then, figure out whether there’s a common thread between any of those things and your partner.

Dreaming of Your Partner Cheating on You With a Celebrity

Celebrities are a symbol of attention and recognition, says Lyon. "So, to dream of your partner cheating on you with a celebrity may symbolize that you’re not feeling valued or not receiving recognition, and this is causing issues in your romantic relationship."

Dreaming of Catching Your Partner Cheating

The most common variation of this dream is that you catch your partner, and your partner either doesn't care or acts like it’s no big deal, says Loewenberg. "This is a tell-tale sign that your partner is doing something that they are fine with, but you aren't. It can even be something that they have no idea you have a problem with."

Your mind may be showing you that it’s time to confront the issues in your relationship and "throw the covers off" of what’s hiding beneath, says Lyon.

Dreaming of Your Partner Telling You They’re Cheating on You

This one almost feels the most emotional out of all of them, says Lyon. "To hear your partner tell you that they are cheating on you in the dream really shows that you feel they have given up on you and that they have found someone better. This communicates deep feelings of being undervalued, neglected, and struggling with feeling worthy."

What to Do If You Dream About Your Partner Cheating

If you've dreamt of your partner cheating on you, you may wonder what you’re supposed to do about it.

However, if the dreams recur or if they raise concerns about your relationship, he recommends communicating openly with your partner. Use the dream as a conversation starter so you can pinpoint the issue together and work on correcting it, says Loewenberg. 

If the dreams disturb you and bring up feelings you’re struggling to cope with, it may be helpful to talk to a mental healthcare provider who can help you explore what they mean to you and why.

Takeaways

Dreaming about your partner cheating can stir up a whirlwind of emotions, but it's important to distinguish whether you had the dream because you suspect they may be cheating on you or because you’re insecure in some way. 

Confronting your partner with unwarranted accusations won't help your relationship—or help you feel more secure. Instead, it may be helpful to address these issues with your partner. Talk about your concerns or fears about your relationship, but avoid lobbing allegations of infidelity. You can also reach out to a mental healthcare provider if you need support.