It’s Time To Stop Victim Blaming People Who Get Scammed

“The IRS will not call you on the phone.” “Your bank will not ask you for your social security number on a call they initiated.” “The police will not call you if there is a warrant out for your arrest.”

Scams have become so commonplace that public service announcements are a daily necessity. According to the Federal Trade Commission, consumers lost $76 million to government impersonation scammers in 2023, a 90% increase from $40 million in 2022. Additionally, in the first quarter of 2024, scammers collected $20 million from customers by impersonating government agencies. Even more money was lost to impersonation, cryptocurrency, employment, phishing, and other scams.

Unfortunately, many victims of scams feel they cannot talk about their experience without being shamed for “falling for” the scam. If you have been scammed, you might feel embarrassed or guilty, and those with whom you share your story might ridicule you for what happened. But know that it is not your fault. Victim blaming those who've been scammed helps no one, not the victims here's why.

Why Do We Blame Scam Victims?

“I cannot believe you fell for that. I would have immediately known it was a scam” is a common thought when someone discloses that they have been scammed. A natural conclusion but one based on cognitive distortions that do not reflect reality.

The Just World Phenomenon

The Melvin J. Learner’s Belief in a Just World is the psychological phenomenon where we want to believe that the world is a just and fair place, where good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. If we assume the world is just, then people who fall victim to scams must have deserved it. After all, how is it fair for an innocent person to be scammed?

The “In Hindsight” Bias

Hindsight bias is the tendency to overestimate how accurately we can predict the future. When someone shares their story of being scammed, you know the end at the beginning. Hindsight bias is saying, “I would have known all along that it was a scam” when you cannot truly know how you would have responded at the moment.

Defensive Attribution

And then there's defensive attribution, which is the tendency to blame victims for their experiences in order to protect yourself from the terrifying reality that bad things can happen to you, too. Survivors of sexual violence often experience victim blaming due to the defensive attribution because blamers will tell themselves, “If it is the victim’s fault, then I could never experience what they went through because I would have behaved differently.”

Although these distortions explain why people hold scam victims responsible for being scammed, it is important to remember that victim blaming is harmful and does not actually protect others from being scammed.

The Harmful Impact of Victim Blaming

When someone has been scammed, the emotional impact can be devastating. The Just World belief, hindsight bias, and defensive attribution can all be turned inward, and many victims blame themselves for their experience. When this blaming also comes from external sources, it can be even more difficult to recover emotionally. They might feel they cannot or do not deserve to access support.

Victim Shaming Only Helps Scammers Scam More

Additionally, scams are constantly changing. New scams pop up all the time, making it nearly impossible to stay on top of every one of them. When victims are shamed and blamed for their experience, they feel like they cannot speak out about what happened. This makes it even more difficult to know what scams are out there. People need to feel safe sharing their experiences so others can learn and be more protected.

Finally, when we blame victims of scams, it shifts responsibility off of the people doing the scamming. Scams happen because there are scammers, and they use psychological tactics to manipulate people into believing them.

Ashley Cairns' Story

Ashley Cairns, counselor and co-founder of A Change for Better, was scammed when she first launched her business. “I went to a ‘reputable’ web development company located in Auckland,” she says. “They promised us a fully working website with specific custom features within 6 weeks for $36,000. They asked for $13,000 down to start the build with the rest due on completion. After 6 months, they still did not have any website, despite daily emails from me asking for updates.”

As Cairns pursued fraud charges against the company, she encountered other victims of the same scam: “If this story wasn't bad enough, while we were getting those affidavits, one of the web companies we talked to had a client who came to them who'd used the same ‘reputable’ company as us and had been scammed too. An elderly retired couple took to making and selling wooden toys. That web company scammed them out of $10,000 and left them with a website that no longer functioned or showed on Google.”

Fortunately, Cairns got her money back with interest, but not before she spent months fighting the company in court.

Kate N.'s Story

Kate N., 30, is also the victim of a scam. A group approached her in public under the guise of raising money for a charitable cause. They were able to fraudulently withdraw more than $3,000 from her checking account. Afterward, Kate said: “I victim blamed myself mostly, but I did experience victim blaming second hand. These people were going around robbing young women all over the city via this scam, and a couple of them posted on TikTok about it. Naturally, several of my friends sent them to me. When I looked at the comments, they all said things like, ‘How stupid can you be to give your phone to someone like that?’ or ‘I have very little sympathy for someone with so little street smarts” without acknowledging that they would have probably done the same thing in that moment because they don’t know how psychological manipulation works.’

The fact is: you do not know how you would handle that moment until it happens. 

How To Support Scam Victims

If someone tells you they have experienced a scam, check your immediate emotional response. If your impulse is to blame them, tell them they should have known better, or otherwise ridicule them for their experience, keep that to yourself. Explore the psychological reasons why you might opt to shift blame to victims rather than perpetrators.

Put them in touch with appropriate resources, and listen with empathy. If others are engaging in victim-blaming, call them out and educate them.

What to Say When Victims Begin to Self-Blame

If they are blaming themselves, tell them that their experience is not their fault. Remember it is easy to say the outcome is obvious when you already know they were scammed. It is never helpful to blame someone for being scammed. None of us are immune, and next time it could be you.

Cairns' advice to other victims? “Don't give up,” she says. “Keep good records always. Never transfer cash to a bank account, always use a credit card with fraud protection.”

Kate echoed these statements, adding that even though being scammed is unfortunate, chances are it happened because you're a good and trusting person.

“So many people have been burned to the point that they don’t trust anyone anymore, and that makes it harder for them to be open and do something kind like donate to a summer sports league,” she says. “Stay soft, stay hopeful about the potential for good in people, but also learn the signs of a scammer so you can prevent it should you ever find yourself in that situation again.”

Resources for Victims

If you or someone you know has been scammed, there are resources available that can help. If the victim is struggling emotionally or working to rebuild confidence and trust, they can work with a therapist to process what happened and cope with their emotions.

Reporting the scam can help alert others to potential scams. Although many scammers are not brought to justice, there is a chance that a law enforcement agency may find them and hold them accountable. You can report scams to the Federal Trade Commission through their website or by calling 877-438-4338 or TDD (202) 326-2502. You can also report scams to the FBI.

There are organizations to help victims recover financially after a scam, including:

• National Center for Victims of Crime has a free guide for self-advocating following a financial scam, strategies to avoid future scams, and options for support in trying to get your money back
• FINRA Foundation has resources for preventing fraud and receiving support and compensation if you have been the victim of fraud
• Cybercrime Support Network provides actionable steps victims can take following a scam, as well as resources for education and support
• Identity Theft Resource Center offers news about information breaches, as well as resources to prevent identity theft, recover following an identity theft, and protection from fraud for businesses

Key Takeaways

Scams are pervasive in modern society, and victim blaming the people scammers harm is not helpful or productive. It prevents emotional recovery and puts others at risk when information about current scams is not shared. Furthermore, to say that it is the victim’s fault they were scammed is simply not true. Scams would not happen if there were no scammers trying to con innocent people.

If you have been scammed, know that it is not your fault. If someone you know has been scammed, learn from their experience, but do not shame them for what happened.

Hopefully, we can one day live in a world where scams are a thing of the past, but for now, victims need support and not shame.