6 Ways to Prevent Dooming Your Friendship When Traveling Together

Have you seen those friendship breakup TikToks? You know, the ones where a group of girls come to Miami as friends and leave as enemies? Yep, those videos have traumatized me from taking trips with my besties.

Everyone from TikTok to Reddit is trying to crack the code of these friendship breakups. Some point to the different travel preferences—getting to the airport four hours early; rigidly sticking to the itinerary and allowing zero flexibility—while others highlight the lack of conflict resolution skills among peers. I believe it's a mixture of both.

Remember, conflict is a normal and natural part of life. Not knowing how to handle conflict is the problem. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to minimize fallouts or arguments with your friends—and this article has a few of them down below.

Planning Ahead

Communicate, communicate, communicate! Have conversations before you board the plane. Talk about things like what you’re hoping to get out of the trip, what you do and don't want, and your non-negotiables. It’s best to get everything all out in the open sooner rather than later.

Also, be aware of everyone's habits and preferences. For example, some friends might need alone each day, others might need to rest in bed before dinner. You might have friends who like to sleep in. Take all of this into account when arranging an itinerary, so you can meet everybody’s needs. Ideally, everyone will be involved in the planning—making decisions collectively is important!

And (!!) plan your budget beforehand. People’s financial situations can vary a lot, so important to be on the same page with finances before the trip. 

Assigning Roles and Responsibilities

Know who's doing what and why. If you're bad at organizing but your friend swears by their Google calendar, give them the itinerary. Similarly, if your bestie has an eye for photography, they're the designated cameraman. Assign every person the role and responsibility tied to their strength. And make sure things are equal amongst the group, so nobody feels resentful about taking on too much.

These roles don't have to be set in stone—you can decide who takes care of what throughout the trip (or leading up to it). The goal is to keep everyone happy with the tasks they've been delegated.

Among the roles you may allocate each other are:

• Organizer: The person who does the planning (e.g. printing things off, forwarding emails, downloading apps)
• Navigator: The person responsible for directions 
• Photographer: The person behind the camera
• Budget manager: The person who keeps track of the finances

Choosing Activities and Destinations

“Combining different interests and energies of friends may be a little challenging but still can be taken care of with a little planning,” says Niloufar Esmaeilpour, MSc RCC SE, a clinical therapist and the founder of Lotus Therapy. 

Planning ahead is best. But also try to remain flexible when it comes to creating your itinerary. Don't forget that it’s fine if you don’t do everything together as a full group (you're not attached to the hip all the time!). If some of you want to explore while others rest, why should that be a problem?

Esmaeilpour sums it up: “By inviting friends to express their needs and preferences, most people can be accommodated. Remember, the goal is for everyone to have a good time on the trip, so flexibility and understanding are paramount.”

However, it can be good to allow for some spontaneity, too, says Dr. Daniel Glazer, clinical psychologist and the co-founder of UK Therapy Rooms, “Have a loose outline yet build in ample room for detours and improvisations based on surprise local recommendations or hidden gems you organically discover,” he says. “It breeds collaborative problem-solving, agility, and an overall spirit of adventure—widely underrated bonding tools.”

Communication and Conflict Resolution

“I would recommend having a plan around what happens if there is a conflict before you go,” says Carolyne Keenan, PsychD. “It’s natural to want to assume that everything will be great and there won't be arguments, but traveling can be intense and at times a bit stressful and that doesn't always bring out the best in us.”

She recommends agreeing on communication rules beforehand. Like if you need space after an argument or how to talk to someone if they're doing something that annoys you. (“I” statements, anyone?)

Keeping things in and not communicating can lead to more explosive arguments further down the line, particularly if people are drinking alcohol or are tired from traveling. “Managing it before it gets to that point by addressing the problem or taking the space you need to work through it will help to resolve it more quickly,” Keenan adds.

If the conversation seems to be getting heated, it might be a good idea to let it rest, give everyone time to calm down, and then pick it back up later on. “The key is to compromise and find out a middle path where you both feel heard and respected,” explains Esmaeilpour. “There are times in life when agreeing on the point of disagreement is appropriate for peace to prevail.”

Respect for Personal Space and Boundaries

“Even the closest of friends need some personal space and time to recharge, especially during a trip,” says Esmaeilpour. She recommends incorporating alone time into the itinerary, noting that “it can be as small as an hour in the morning and one afternoon where people can do their thing.”

By respecting everyone’s needs for personal space, feelings of suffocation can be avoided, which makes all the time you spend together even better! Reiterate to everyone that needing personal space isn’t a reflection on any of the relationships you share; it’s just that some people may need more alone time than others. 

Traveling With Couples

Something else to consider when traveling with a group of friends is whether there are any couples in the mix. You may vacation in a group of three or four couples or have a mix of couples and singles. Maybe there's a person whose partner isn’t coming along. Regardless, couples may want some time to themselves as a two. This shouldn't be a problem as long as it's factored into the trip itinerary, Dr. Kennan notes.

“Couples can have a different way of communicating to groups of friends,” she says. “If a couple has a particularly volatile relationship or they have a tendency to bicker a lot, then that dynamic might not compliment a group trip too well.  Generally, though, I don't think it will automatically cause problems. Keeping clear, open communication around everyone's expectations should help to make sure the group dynamic is managed well.”

Handling Finances

Nobody wants to be a downer and talk about how to handle money. But these are conversations that need to be had. Not everyone handles finances the same way—and if you've never traveled with this group of friends before, you might not realize how your budgeting styles differ.

“I know groups who always do a whip when they travel and pool their money so everything comes from one account and makes things easier when paying for a group,” explains Dr. Keenan. If pooling all the money together isn't an option, Dr. Keenan recommends apps like Split Wise that record everything you’ve bought and who’s bought it, so you know who’s spending what. 

Regardless of what you decide, it’s important that everyone can afford the events on the itinerary, plus have a contingency fund, just in case. Taking everyone’s financial situation into account will minimize the chances of some people feeling resentful or awkward that they've underbudgeted and have to bow out of exercursions because they can't afford them.

Safety and Emergency Preparedness

Whether you're traveling in a group, with family, as a couple, or solo, safety is paramount. 

You can never be a hundred percent safe when traveling, but you can minimize the risks of something going wrong. If somewhere unfamiliar, make sure you stay together with each other—particularly if it’s dark or people in your group have been drinking alcohol or taking recreational substances—and familiarize yourself with common scams in your destination.

Enjoying the Journey

Traveling with friends can certainly be stressful but it can be so much fun, too. Encourage your friends to enjoy the experience and make some unforgettable memories, even if everyone has to occasionally compromise.

If you’re going somewhere new, immerse yourselves in the local culture and try things you aren’t used to. If things don’t go entirely to plan, don't fret. It’s unlikely to ruin the whole trip. You might just have to change one or two things on the itinerary. It’s best to be flexible and keep an open mind!

Keep In Mind

Put the work in before your trip by planning carefully, and it’ll pay off when you’re actually on vacation. “The friends who thrive together on the road aren't simply the luckiest—they're the ones who put in the work upfront,” says Dr. Glazer. “Long before any backpacks get shouldered or luggage stowed, the stage is set by proactively discussing travel styles, personal boundaries, and a commitment to flexible communication. With that foundational roadmap in place, even the most harrowing relationship detours have guideposts for realignment.”

Not everyone is a good travel buddy. They might not like traveling or they don't enjoy the same types of trips as you. For example, you might have a friend who’s great company on a cruise but hates a vacation that involves a long flight. Or, you and your friend may be more suited to nights out and day trips rather than anything longer—and that’s okay!