Meet the Introverted Extrovert, the Often Forgotten Personality Type

We all have our own social rhythms. Some may thrive in solitude, needing a quiet and calm space to retreat to. They may even find they feel sensory overload when exposed to too much socialization. Talking about themselves feels invasive unless it is with people they like and their idea of a good time is a night in with a close friend or two. This is a classic introvert.

Others, such as extroverts, need socialization. They feel energized after spending time at a party and love being in large groups of people. An extroverted friend of mine once told me she stops by her local coffee shop every day just to chat with the people who work there, noting that the social interaction gives her day a boost of energy.

But, there’s another personality type that gets overlooked all too often: the introverted extrovert. Think of an introverted extrovert, sometimes referred to as an ambivert, as someone who has a delicate balance of introverted and extroverted traits. Read on to learn more about this personality type, the challenges they face, and tips for thriving.

Who Came Up With the Idea of Introversion and Extroversion, Anyway?

First, let’s look at the background of this concept. Introversion and extroversion were ideas put forth by Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist Carl Jung. Introversion can be thought of as low extroversion – while these people still need social relationships, they need solitude just as much, if not more. Extroverts need lots from their social relationships and aren’t as prone to the overstimulation and exhaustion introverts can be privy to.

But, notice how we referred to introversion as low extroversion? There’s a reason for that. No person is purely introverted or extroverted. This statement runs so true that there are also people who have equal parts introversion and extroversion. Enter: The introverted extrovert. 

Characteristics of an Introverted Extrovert

Perhaps you’ve never felt like you’ve fit into the introvert or the extrovert camp. You might be skeptical of the whole idea of introversion and extroversion. Yet, you can’t deny that you feel rocked after too much social stimulation, even if you were the one to plan the party. These are some preliminary clues you’re an introverted extrovert. But, don’t just take our word at face value. 

See if any of these following scenarios of being an introverted extrovert ring true to you:

• Your friends know you for throwing a killer party and retreating into silence for hours after. You love to bring people together, but once your social battery has run out, it is time to retreat and recharge.
• Sometimes you crave company, but other times you need to be in silence with no one making any requests of you.
• Too much attention makes you uneasy. For example, you’re not afraid to take the lead on a project at work. But, being celebrated for it? That could be a touch too much shine for you.
• You’re eager to help a friend in need, but you’d rather handle your own battles in private. 
  

Challenges Faced By Introverted Extroverts

Being an introverted extrovert can be challenging. To begin, folks often overlook these dual-natured beings. This can lead to introverted extroverts being misunderstood. Rather than someone being able to accept the need for quiet time alone after throwing the party of the year is just part of their nature, some may view it as flaky. Folks may wonder how you can have deep heart-to-hearts with them in person, but leave their texts on read for weeks. 

Part of overcoming the challenge of being an introverted extrovert is self-acceptance. There isn’t anything wrong with you – you’re simply hardwired to exist in the duality of introversion and extroversion. What can be the most important for you is to honor your truth and social rhythms. This means getting comfortable with articulating your needs.

Tips for Thriving as an Introverted Extrovert

A key to thriving as an introverted extrovert is to own what makes you feel comfortable. Grab a journal and dig into this quick exercise:

• Make one column and write down things you enjoy doing. This could include throwing dinner parties, bringing together groups of people you love, making new friends, or even taking charge and leading major projects at work. 
• Then, next to each thing you enjoy doing, write about what you need to recharge. Consider this your aftercare plan. Maybe you love the dinner party but need it to wrap up by 9 p.m. so you can rest. Perhaps bringing together groups of people you love is your jam, just not at your home where you’re also in charge of all the hostess duties. New friends are amazing, but it could be you prefer to schedule meet-ups with new people only a few times a month. 
  

Once you’ve completed this exercise, you have a roadmap of what your introverted extrovert needs are. Now, onto how you can use this map as a tool for communicating with others. 

If you experience someone whose feelings are hurt by how you navigate communication and balance your alone time, speak candidly with them. Explain that this is a key part of your personality. Those that are aligned relationships for you will not try to change you.

Takeaways

If introverted extroversion can tell us anything, it is that life in the grey can be quite colorful. Learning more about your personality and social rhythms can set you up for success in your relationships. But, if you experience friction and misunderstanding amongst loved ones for your needs, be open to educating and explaining.

It is equally important to be open to optimizing your social habits in ways that conserve your energy, respect others’ time, and create symbiotic relationships.