Couples Quiz: Are You in a Healthy Relationship?

The Couples Quiz

Sometimes, it can be hard to tell how your relationship is going from inside of it. If you're wondering how healthy your dynamic really is, take this free relationship quiz to find out:

Who Is This Couples Quiz For?

This couples quiz is for anyone who is questioning their relationship dynamic and wants to know more about the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships.

It can help you better understand your feelings about your relationship and determine whether you might benefit from reaching out to a mental health professional, such as a couples therapist, to discuss your concerns. Each question on the test relates to feelings and behaviors associated with romantic relationships.

What To Know About Relationships 

Relationships, romantic and otherwise, are social connections we need for a healthy life. Research shows that having healthy relationships boosts mental and physical health. On the other hand, unhealthy relationships can have a negative impact on mental and physical health. 

Unhealthy relationships typically cause more conflict and create stress. These relationships can have subtle signs of unhealthy patterns or clear signs of being toxic or abusive. Having an unhealthy relationship doesn’t always mean you should dissolve it. Sometimes unhealthy behaviors and dynamics can be addressed with the help of a mental health professional. 

Healthy romantic relationships don't just happen, they are created
with mutual care, effort, and intention. By communicating openly and
vulnerably, demonstrating care and consideration for each other, and
being willing to adapt to changes and work through challenges
together, your love relationship can grow and thrive.

— IVY KWONG, LMFT

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships have some key elements in common. 

Trust

The ability to trust a partner is important to any relationship. Learning to trust comes from our early relationships, such as those with our caregivers during childhood. Research suggests that attachment style influences trust. Two people who trust each other are more likely to have a healthy relationship dynamic.

Respect

Respect should be mutual, meaning both parties have the same regard for the other person’s needs as they do for their own. They value their partner and demonstrate that by how they treat them. People in a healthy relationship show respect by listening, observing each other’s boundaries, being kind to each other, and being supportive.

Honesty

Both you and your partner should be able to share your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs honestly. Honest discussions between partners help build a strong relationship.

Ability to Solve Problems and Resolve Arguments

No relationship is perfect, and we all get into disagreements. In a healthy relationship, partners are able to work through issues without insulting each other or being cruel. They can come up with a solution by focusing on the situation or behavior instead of picking at each other.

Good Communication 

Communication is one of the core elements of a healthy relationship. One study found that a negative communication style was more likely than stress and personality to predict a couple’s likelihood of getting divorced. When partners can express themselves and talk through issues, they are more likely to have a lasting relationship.

Individuality 

People in healthy relationships are able to be loved and appreciated for who they are and do the same for their partner. Each partner should still be able to be themselves. Neither should have to give up relationships with friends or family for the partnership. 

Sexual Bond

Sexual compatibility and getting consent are also important for a healthy relationship. Partners who are matched with a similar sex drive and preferences and those who are able to communicate their sexual needs are more likely to have an enjoyable sex life. 

Signs of An Unhealthy Relationship 

Some signs of an unhealthy relationship are more noticeable than others. It can be hard to recognize subtle signs, especially if you’re in love with someone. 

Control

If one partner is exerting control over the other person, it’s not a healthy relationship dynamic. The controlling partner may be manipulative or use intimidation to prevent the other from doing things or seeing people. 

Poor Communication 

Good communication is key to a healthy relationship. Partners who aren’t able to communicate effectively with respect, honesty, and clarity are less likely to be able to solve problems and work through difficult issues.

Lack of Trust

When one or both partners don’t feel they can trust each other, it’s an indicator of an unhealthy relationship. Lack of trust could lead to hiding things from the other person or accusing them of behaviors, such as cheating.

Violence

Physical violence, such as hitting or shoving, and sexual violence, such as forcing someone into a sexual act without consent, is both unhealthy and abusive behavior.

Not all unhealthy relationships are abusive, but all abusive relationships are unhealthy.