What Resilience Means (and Why It Matters)

Resilience involves the ability to recover and rebound from challenges and setbacks. It can be important for helping people deal with a variety of problems and recover from trauma.

It's a lot more than just being "tough." Resilience allows us to withstand life's hardships and find the strength and resolve to get back up again.

Think about a time when you were dealing with a challenge—like a breakup or job loss—that left you stressed and questioning yourself. Trust me; I know how easy it is to fall into that trap of thinking that things will never change and that the whole world is against you. But these moments are *exactly* why resilience is so important.

When it feels like we are fighting an uphill battle (and we're more than a little tempted just to give up), remember that everyone else is dealing with struggles we know nothing about. Resilience allows us to keep showing up and looking for new ways to face these challenges every day. We find ways to keep going, even when it feels impossible. That's resilience.

If you want to become more resilient, start by learning about the characteristics of resilient people and when and how to ask for help.

What Does Resilience Mean?

Being resilient means facing difficulties head-on instead of falling into despair or using unhealthy coping strategies. Resilience is often defined as the mental reservoir of strength that helps people handle stress and hardship.

Resilient people are able to draw upon this strength to cope and recover from challenges. That's true even when they face significant traumas, such as job loss, financial problems, serious illness, relationship challenges, or the death of a loved one.

Characteristics of Resilience

Some of the main characteristics of a person who has resilience are awareness, self-control, problem-solving skills, and social support. Resilient people are aware of situations, their emotional reactions, and the behavior of those around them.

While people vary dramatically in the coping skills they use when confronting a crisis, researchers have identified some key characteristics of resilience. Many of these skills can be developed and strengthened, which can improve your ability to deal with life's setbacks.

The five basic characteristics of resilience are:

1. Problem-solving skills
2. Strong social connections
3. Survivor mentality
4. Emotional regulation
5. Self-compassion

Sense of Control

Do you perceive yourself as having control over your own life? Or do you blame outside sources for failures and problems?

Generally, resilient people tend to have what psychologists call an internal locus of control. They believe that the actions they take will affect the outcome of an event.

Of course, some factors are simply outside of our personal control, such as natural disasters. While we may be able to put some blame on external causes, it is important to feel as if we have the power to make choices that will affect our situation, our ability to cope, and our future.

Problem-Solving Skills

Problem-solving skills are essential for resilience. When a crisis emerges, resilient people are able to spot the solution that will lead to a safe outcome. In dangerous situations, less resilient people sometimes develop tunnel vision. They fail to note important details or take advantage of opportunities.

Strong Social Connections

Whenever you're dealing with a problem, it is important to have people who can offer support. Talking about the challenges you are facing can be an excellent way to gain perspective, look for new solutions, or simply express your emotions.

People who possess a great deal of resilience have a network of friends, family members, co-workers, and online support groups to keep them socially connected.

Survivor Mentality

When dealing with any potential crisis, it is essential to view yourself as a survivor. Resilient people avoid thinking like a victim of circumstance and instead look for ways to resolve the problem. While the situation may be unavoidable, they stay focused on a positive outcome.

Emotional Regulation

Resilience is also characterized by an ability to regulate emotions effectively. The ability to recognize that they are having an emotional response and to understand what is causing the response can help them better handle emotions and cope with the situation at hand.

Emotional regulation is vital for resilience because it allows us to recognize what we are feeling and stay calm when we are under stress. When we feel like we're in control, we're a lot less likely to become overwhelmed by feelings of anxiety and frustration.

Self-Compassion

Resilient people are also compassionate toward themselves. They tend to notice when they need to take a break and can accept their emotions, which is important for resilience.

When facing hardships, it's important to be gentle with ourselves. Treating ourselves with kindness can be the key to helping us find the resolve and strength to keep going.

Self-compassion can help boost overall health and resilience and ensure you're ready to face life's challenges.

Examples of Resilience

So what does resilience look like in action? Some examples of resilient behaviors and ways that you can show resilience include:

• Trying to take a positive perspective on situations
• Viewing challenges as learning opportunities
• Regulating emotions and expressing feelings in appropriate ways
• Focusing on the things you can control instead of dwelling on what you cannot change
• Recognizing that cognitive distortions are false
• Reframing negative thoughts to be more realistic and positive

For example, imagine that you get stuck in traffic on the way to work. A non-resilient person might get angry, stressed out, and worried about how being late will reflect on them at work.

How Do I Build Resilience?

Strategies that can help you become more resilient include:

• Developing a sense of optimism: A positive mindset can help you stay hopeful in the face of challenges.
• Finding meaning and purpose in your life: Working toward things you believe in ensures that you'll stay motivated and committed even when times are tough.
• Maintaining good interpersonal relationships and a strong support system: Friends, family, and the community can lift you up and give you the support you need when your self-belief might be waning.
• Creating goals and working toward them: Goals give you something to work toward and help you stay focused and motivated in the face of obstacles.
• Working on your problem-solving skills: Resilience is greater when we have the resources we need to adapt and grow as the situation changes. When circumstances shift, problem-solving skills help us find new ways of moving forward rather than clinging to our rigid ideas about how things should be.
  

How to Ask for Help

While being resourceful is an important part of resilience, it is also essential to know when to ask for help. During a crisis, everyone can benefit from the help of psychologists and counselors specially trained to deal with crisis situations. Other potential sources of assistance include:

• Books: Reading about people who have experienced and overcome a similar problem can be motivating and suggest ideas on how to cope.
• Online message boards: Online communities can provide continual support and a place to talk about issues with people who have been in a similar situation.
• Psychotherapy: If you are having trouble coping with a crisis situation, consulting a qualified mental health professional can help you confront the problem, identify your strengths, and develop new coping skills.
• Support groups: Attending support group meetings is a great way to talk about the challenges you're facing and to find a network of people who can provide compassion and support.
  

Takeaways

Resilience is important for mental health and well-being, and luckily, everyone can learn to be resilient. While some people may be naturally more resilient, it's a skill that you can strengthen.

Start by practicing some of the common characteristics of resilient people and focusing on your existing strengths. Don't get discouraged; becoming more resilient may take time, but the investment will have big payoffs on your health and well-being.