Can a Relationship Between Two Type B Personalities Work?

Relationships can be built on a variety of foundations. They could begin because you’ve known someone since childhood, they could be a former teammate or classmate, they can begin at a bar, or on a dating app, or in a theatre lounge in college.

However, no matter how quick the romance, you’re going to start talking about how compatible you feel with that person. The methods may have changed—out with the love letters and in with the DMs—but the basic formula remains the same. Maybe you’ll use the word vibe, maybe you’ll compare your connection to a favorite rom-com or romance novel, or you might start talking about personality types. 

So the question is: what happens when two people who are Type B end up in a relationship together?

What a Type B Relationship Looks Like

Before we can decide what a relationship with two Type Bs looks like long term, we have to find out whether the terms are useful in the real world. Colleen Marshall, LMFT, a therapist and chief clinical officer at Two Chairs, seems to think so.

“I think anytime there's something that helps clarify that people just are different, helps people understand why there might be conflict just because people are wired differently…" Marshall says. "I do think it's useful, and especially if the client themselves understands that concept or identifies that way.”

As for why people might latch onto personality types in the process of selecting a potential romantic partner, Wendy Walsh, PhD, a professor of health psychology at California State University, Channel Islands, says that the impulse to search out someone with a similar personality type—including posting about it on social media—is a practice in self-preservation.

“We're all trying to prevent heartbreak," says Walsh. "Everybody wants to connect with someone. We want to feel loved. We want to love back. But we also know that the journey towards that is often filled with great pain, as we find mates that aren't a good match, and so we try to assess and analyze as much as possible.”

Why It's Great Being With Another Type B

One of the advantages of being in a relationship with someone who is also Type B is that you may be on more of the same wavelength and aligned in your priorities. Marshall says that because Type B personalities are generally known as being more free-flowing types, that could play a role. 

“Type B would be more zen, ideally [focused on] more wellness, but also just the openness to creative thoughts and flexibility. I could imagine it would be a creative relationship to be in.”

Another possible advantage of being in a relationship where both of you are Type B is more of a chill approach to disagreement, according to Walsh.

“There's going to be less conflict, and the conflict will be easily resolvable because both people don't want to get into a fight. The other thing is, there'll be more love and connection. Type B people love touch, they love to be with somebody else, they love people, etc.”

Why It Doesn't Always Work

As with all relationships, partnerships between people who are both Type B can have some drawbacks. Because Type B personalities are generally described as more laid back, a combined lack of definitive decision-making can cause friction. For example, if neither partner wants to make a budget or, in a scenario Marshall provided, pick a place for supper. 

“Type B are going to accomplish things… they're just going to accomplish it in a different way," says Marshall. "And so they might be missing some of that urgency, timeline, decisiveness. You could imagine trying to decide where you're going to go to dinner, and spending a lot of time with options and creativity, instead of ‘Let's just pick a place and let's go.’”

In terms of how the two personality types resolve conflict, the reactions of people who identify with Type A versus Type B have been studied in places with high stress, including work and school.

How to Make the Relationship Work

One of the challenges for people entering into a new relationship—especially with those who have the opposite personality type—is the stressors that outside forces put pressure on the relationship. Considering Type B personalities are typecast as less achievement-oriented, it could be helpful to shut out the societal noise that can complicate flourishing relationship dynamics. 

“It's pressure from the outside saying, ‘Why don't you get a better job? Why don't you move? When are you guys having kids? What's happening, right? And so it's not like they  [Type B personalities] care that much. And who are we to judge? They may be perfectly happy.” 

The Verdict: Can it Truly Work?

Yes. Like in any relationship, it will take effort, love, care, and focus, but it can succeed. Walsh believes that the best foundation is understanding your own needs first rather than relying too heavily on personality types or other metrics. 

“Love is an inside job. It starts with loving yourself, and then it continues into loving and accepting in others. If you're going to begin a relationship thinking this person needs to have more motivation, or be more type A or is going to fight with me, then you're trying to change them in your mind, And so I think that it's really important that we enter new relationships with a curious mind.”

After all, we humans love to have a type even if that type can’t be boiled down to decades-old cardiac research.