There's No Secret to Being Intentional—Just These 18 Tips

Put down the self-help books and read this article

woman relaxed and intentional
pixdeluxe/Getty Images.

You can't scroll on Twitter, TikTok, or even Pinterest without being spammed with “intentional living” posts. And, like, yeah, we all want to live full, productive, and meaningful lives. (Or, at least, I do). But how does being intentional help us reach our goals—or, better yet, what does being intentional even mean? Well, I did some digging to find out.

“Being intentional means living with purpose and making deliberate choices that align with your values and goals,” says Emily Zeller, LMFT, the founder at Zeller & Co. Therapy. It's about being mindful (re: self-aware) about your lifestyle choices and the in-the-moment decisions on things like boundaries, communication, time management, and goals.

Practicing intentionality sounds easy—and it is, to an extent. But it requires self-accountability, discipline, and lots of hard work. If you're up for the challenge (I believe in you!), we lay out exactly how you can be more intentional. First step? Buy a vision board.

Benefits of Being Intentional

Think of intentionality as being in the driver's seat of your life. You're in control of yourself and the destination.

“When you live intentionally, you clearly understand what you want to achieve and reasons you’re going for it,” says Zeller. You're living more authentically and gaining more integrity in yourself and your relationships.

According to Zeller, some other benefits include:

Michelle Beaupre, PhD, LCSW, the clinical director at Villa Oasis, says one main benefit of being intentional is making better decisions.

“Instead of just reacting or making quick choices, you're taking the time to think carefully and choose actions that match your goals and values,” she explains “This way, your decisions are more thoughtful and in line with what is important for you.” And you feel less regret and doubt over your decisions.

Your time management will also become more streamlined and efficient. “When you act purposely, you put important tasks and duties first,” says Beaupre. Research shows that improved time management skills lead to increased productivity. You're not only becoming a better worker by having an intentional mindset but also improving your self-confidence and feeling a greater sense of accomplishment.

How to Be Intentional in Daily Life

It’s all fine and dandy to know the benefits of being more intentional but that doesn't translate to action. You can choose at least one of these basic strategies (down below) to implement today.

Zeller recommends starting your intentionality journey by :

  • Making some long-term and short-term goals
  • Prioritizing tasks based on urgency and importance
  • Taking five to ten minutes of the day to focus on breathwork
  • Being more present and mindful—meditation, anyone?
  • Establishing a daily gratitude practice. (Hint: try writing down a few things you are grateful for each day)

Want more? Keep reading on for more expert-backed tips on becoming intentional.

Plan Your Day Out

Before beginning your day, take a few minutes to outline your goals. “Planning can help you stay on track and prevent being sidetracked by less important things,” says Beaupre.

Make a Vision Board

Creating a vision board can help you visualize your goals. “You can put pictures, quotes, or words that inspire you and showcase your values,” Beaupre adds. “Put it somewhere you will see daily, like on your bedroom wall or phone lock screen.”

Learn to Say No

Having strong boundaries is super important when it comes to being more intentional. Remember that “no” is a complete sentence. No ifs, and, or buts. Being firm with your boundaries will help you choose how to spend your time and energy more carefully. “It is fine to refuse things that do not match your goals or values, even if others might feel let down,” Beaupre says.

When you act with intention, you focus on what is really important for you and stop doing things that do not help your overall happiness.

MICHELLE BEAUPRE, PHD, LCSW

Being Intentional in Relationships

Intentionality isn't limited to the self. It also applies to our relationships, be either romantic, work, friendly, familial, or otherwise.

“You can be more intentional in relationships by focusing on what types of relationships work best for you, how much time you wish to spend with others, and recognize that sometimes it is best to leave a relationship of any kind if it has run its course and you’ve outgrown it,” Zeller suggests.

To be intentional in relationships means to examine them and determine if it's serving you and your needs. And if this relationship is aligned with your goals, how are you contributing to it? How are you showing up for your friend, partner, or co-worker?

The deep questions are tough, eh? But that's what being intentional is all about! Making purposeful choices to deepen and strengthen the relationship's bond and communication. Unsure where to start? Beaupre has some suggestions.

Value Moments Together

“Just because someone is always in your life, doesn't mean you should ignore how important they are,” says Beaupre. She suggests folks prioritize spending quality time with the people they care about. Take your S.O. on a special evening, make a coffee date with a friend, or give your distant family member a call. Just try to show up for them. It shows that “they are important to you, which can help strengthen your relationship,” says Beaupre.

Keep Communication Regular

Keeping communication flowing is vital for maintaining any relationship. “Always try to check in with people you care about and tell them what is happening in your life,” Beaupre recommends. “This can help avoid misunderstandings and make them feel included in your life.”

Keep Learning About Each Other

The number one piece of advice for anyone! Don’t take your relationships for granted. Always make a point to delve deeper into them. “Even if you have known someone for a long time, it does not mean you know everything about them,” says Beaupre. “People always change and grow, so keep trying to learn new things about them and stay close.”

Being Intentional in Achieving Goals

We all have goals that we want to accomplish in life—start a business, move up the corporate ladder, become a parent, or write a best-selling novel (bonus points if it gets adapted!). Nothing's wrong with dreaming big, but doing what it takes to accomplish these goals—and stay motivated in the process—is something else.

Adding more intentionality into your life is a great way to work toward a life goal. Research has found that adopting a goal-setting mindset can effectively change behaviors like becoming more physically active or adhering to a healthier diet.

One effective method for being more intentional with goal setting is the SMART approach, which stands for:

  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Achievable
  • Relevant
  • Time-Bound

How does the SMART approach help with goal achievement? Well, according to Beaupre, it's quite simple...

Specific

Make sure you are clear and specific about your goals. “This helps give you a target to aim at and makes checking progress easier,” says Beaupre. “Knowing exactly what you want to achieve can help you stay motivated and intentional.”

Measurable

Have a method of progress. It'll keep you on track, plus motivate you to stay focused. Beaupre suggests using time, numbers, or other clear markers as progress points. “For example, if your goal is to exercise more, you can set a measurable target like doing a workout three times in one week for 30 minutes each time,” she says.

Attainable

“It is nice to push yourself with targets, but it’s important these are realistic and possible,” Beaupre advises. “Begin with small, reachable goals and slowly make them harder as you get better.”

Relevant

Your goals should match your values and life purpose. “It is simpler to stay focused and driven when you are aiming for something that means a lot to you,” Beaupre says. “Take some moments to think about what is important to you and what motivates you deeply, then make goals based on that.”

Time-Bound

“A goal without a deadline is just a wish,” says Beaupre. Implementing a clear timeline for goal setting can bring some ”good pressure” into your life and push you in the right direction to get things done. “Break big goals into small, doable steps with due dates, so you get a clear plan to follow,” Beaupre adds.

Of course, SMART isn't the only approach for becoming intentional with your goals. In fact, Zeller recommends the following options:

  • Divide each goal into smaller steps that can be more easily tackled
  • Use apps or a journal to track progress and hold yourself accountable
  • Create a support system to keep yourself motivated

The Bottom Line

Being more intentional means being more present, mindful, and focused. It's about taking a more of active role in your day-to-day decisions and getting rid of that “whatever” attitude. Time to think before you act and live a life based on a clear-headed plan (with goals in place!). No more back-seat driving—you're in charge now.

3 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Antusch, S., Aarts, H., & Custers, R. (2019). The role of intentional strength in shaping the sense of agencyFrontiers in Psychology10, 1124. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01124

  2. Aeon, B., Faber, A., & Panaccio, A. (2021). Does time management work? A meta-analysisPLOS ONE16(1), e0245066. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0245066

  3. Nelis, S. M., Thom, J. M., Jones, I. R., Hindle, J. V., & Clare, L. (2018). Goal-setting to promote a healthier lifestyle in later life: Qualitative evaluation of the agewell trialClinical Gerontologist41(4), 335–345. https://doi.org/10.1080/07317115.2017.1416509

Wendy Wisner

By Wendy Wisner
Wendy Wisner is a health and parenting writer, lactation consultant (IBCLC), and mom to two awesome sons.